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It isn’t easy to ask a visitor to leave. One idea, which doesn’t interrupt the flow of the conversation, is to use coloured cards. When you are OK, have a green card on view. An orange card silently indicates to the visitor that you need to wind down the conversation, and a red card means you need a rest urgently. Rudyard Kipling had an ornamental fish, which he turned to point away from the room when he wanted the visitor to leave. If possible plan visitors for your best time of day and perhaps decide beforehand how long they should stay. It might help to use a countdown timer, which will beep after a set period. Frequent short visits are better than getting worn out once a fortnight. One person with M.E. uses a signalling system where a specific curtain is left open if she is happy for a visitor to pop in, and closed if not. If you find it difficult to concentrate when there is more than one noise, ask visitors to try and avoid speaking at the same time as someone else or over the top of an aeroplane or television. Explain that your brain has trouble filtering out excess stimuli, and if necessary ask friends to visit one at a time. Make plans to minimize the chances of the conversation grinding to an awkward halt. Look out for interesting topics, facts or jokes. Think about what you might talk about, and maybe let the visitor know in advance. You might prefer to do something together such as playing games or watching television. Use refreshments. If you are too ill to have a long conversation, a friend might be able to pop in to see you, go and talk to another family member while you rest, then pop in to you again before they go; or you might be up to having them sit quietly in the room reading a book, studying or playing patience. Some people might like to share a time of silent meditation, prayer or deep relaxation with you. If you are very ill, your family may be able to keep up some contact with your friends on your behalf. Visitors who would stay the night if you were well enough might be able to stay at a local Bed & Breakfast instead.
Cooking : Meditation : Over-Stimulation : Pacing : People : Resting : Telephone : Writing
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