Coping Strategies
Different people have different ways of coping. It is up to each individual to find out which strategies suit them best at that time. Be patient with yourself, you are living with a very difficult illness; it is natural to feel frustrated and angry sometimes. It is common to feel guilty for being or staying ill, but try not to blame yourself; it’s just bad luck. Sometimes it will be appropriate for you to grieve your losses and feel sorry for yourself. Have a good cry when you feel the need to. At other times it will be appropriate to try and pick yourself up emotionally, and distract yourself from your problems. It can help to remember that there are other people suffering too; people who are going through similar problems and people who are suffering due to other reasons such as hunger or war. Take one day at a time, and look after your emotional well-being. Remember that you are no more or less valuable than anyone else. Identify small pleasures and take time to do things that you enjoy (see Quality of Life). Where possible avoid situations which make you feel stressed or unhappy. Things which are difficult but necessary can sometimes be less stressful if you break them down into more manageable chunks and tackle them before they become urgent. Try to balance demoralising tasks with activities you will find enjoyable or relaxing. Although you can’t have a day off being ill, you might still be able to have regular breaks from ‘jobs’. It is difficult to express emotion with very limited energy. Here are some possibilities: Express it by talking to someone, in poetry, art or writing, or in prayer. Listen to music appropriate for your mood. Squish a whoopee cushion; pop bubble wrap; throw a soft toy on the floor; or play with Playdough. Tear up scrap paper (thin paper such as tissue paper takes less energy); scribble all over scrap paper or write down angry words and then rip them up. Watch a candle, use relaxation or meditation (see Resting).
- MIND mental health promotion booklets cost £1 each, £3 for 5 or £4.50 for 10 plus 44p postage. Titles include ‘How to assert yourself’; ‘How to cope with loneliness’; ‘How to look after yourself’ and ‘How to recognise the early signs of mental distress’. MIND PUBLICATIONS, GRANTA HOUSE, 15-19 BROADWAY, LONDON, E15 4BQ Tel: 020 8519 2122 Fax: 020 8522 1725 E-mail: publications@mind.org.uk Website: www.mind.org.uk
- THE SAMARITANS provide confidential emotional support for anyone in distress or at risk of suicide. Local branches (details on the website and in the phone book) also have phone numbers of local helplines and counselling services. Postal service: CHRIS, P.O. BOX 90 90, STIRLING, FK8 2SA. Tel: 08457 909090 Textphone: 08457 90 91 92 E-mail: jo@samaritans.org Website: www.samaritans.org
- Membership of the M.E. ASSOCIATION costs £15 per year and has a listening ear service for members. 4 TOP ANGEL, BUCKINGHAM INDUSTRIAL PARK, BUCKINGHAM, MK18 ITH Tel: 01280 818 960 Helpline: 01375 361 013 Website: www.meassociation.org.uk
- ‘Surviving M.E. Practical Strategies For Coming To Terms With Chronic Fatigue’ by Joyce Fox. ISBN 0 09 181472 3 £8.99. This book offers guidance on coping with the emotional impact of M.E. At the time of publication, it was out of print, but you could try your local library or M.E. Group.
- BRITISH ASSOCIATION FOR COUNSELLING AND PSYCHOTHERAPHY, 1 REGENT PLACE, RUGBY, CV21 2PJ Send an SAE for details of counsellors in your area. Counsellors can also be accessed by their website www.counselling.co.uk
Celebrations
: Holidays
: Nature
: Pacing
: Parenting
: People
: Quality of Life
: Resting
: Young People
InterAction 37; 2001; pages 35-37 Counselling – telephone service for M.E.; InterAction 22; 1996; pages 9-10 Counselling and Psychotherapy guide; InterAction 29; 1999; page 32 Depression and M.E.; InterAction 26; 1998; pages 26-27 Abuse, Trauma and M.E.; InterAction 24; 1997; pages 33-34 Loneliness; InterAction 34; 2000; pages 36-37 low self esteem; InterAction 38; 2001; pages 6-8 Recovery – making the adjustment; InterAction 36; 2001; pages 24-25 Stigma; InterAction 28; 1998; page 26, also issue 31; 1999; pages 28-30 Suicidal feelings